The Hate He Can Never (Maybe) Overcome
by MidnightsNightmares
Summary: Komaeda thinks he's trash. Hinata's concerned for his well-being.


Disgusting.

Komaeda was repulsive, disgusting and damn did he wish _he'd_ let him pull a trigger on himself. Let himself die a pitiful death like the worthless person he is. Like he'd let that happen.

Damn himself.

He wasn't worthy of such kindness. The filth he is. The insane wreck he was shaped to be. _Super High School Level Luck?_ That title didn't fit him at all. He had bare luck, and would never find any either in his pathetic life. Being bound to this damn room was all he really deserved. No matter how much the rattle of these chains scared him...no matter how much they squeezed his wrists and ankles until his delicate skin was bruised and left him in tears. His blood has yet to be shedded, and he sits here, waiting for that door to open and for it not to be him and for whoever it is to stab him to death until he bled out all over the floor.

Why did he bother to come here and hand feed him? He should leave the plate in front of him, taunt him, make fun of him as he struggled to get it. Or to shove the bottom of his shoe in Komaeda's face, saying that if he really wanted something to eat, to lick the dirt off the sole.

No. That's not what he did. He sat on the floor, help him sit up since the chains that bound his hands and feet together restrained his movements and fed him the food from the tray he brought.

It made no sense why he was so kind to Komaeda.

He wasn't worthy of it. And would never be.

And as the door to his cottage opened up, revealing the boy _he loved so much - _but knew he should shame himself for _loving so much_. He smiled at him - another thing he wasn't worthy of doing to such a golden-hearted guy like him.

"Komaeda?" He said, sitting next to him and immediately helped him upright. He took in his closeness. The friendly warmth he took for granted when he helped him sit up. He felt himself grow angry the more he cherished this warmth.

Why did he offer it to him? Why wasn't anyone on this damn Earth more worthy of it than him?

"Hi, Hi-oh! I shouldn't be saying your name...my apologies. I'll keep my filthy mouth in check, just so I won't ruin your day by speaking your precious name." He frowned, a sight that made him wince. Lord have mercy, if only dirt like him were honored to make him smile...

"Komaeda...don't degrade yourself like that. I don't see why it's such a big problem for you to understand that I don't see you as an unequal." Komaeda shrugged, looking at the food eagerly.

_Oh, to be poisoned by him...what a lovely death! Such an honorable one...one I don't deserve._

He looked back at him, smiling wide, damning himself more. "Anything poisoned?" The look of anger that he showed him as his words of garbage spilled out of his mouth

...Hatred.

That's what he should receive! His hatred!

Ah, he could imagine it now. A lovely shade of red fueled hatred painting his tan features, the small locks of brown hair rustling slightly with his movements as he raised his hand and brought a knife into his chest...another honorable death he didn't deserve.

Just thinking about it made him feel a tingling sensation in his stomach.

"I would never poison you, Komaeda...and please, don't ask me to kill you this time." He begged, his usual expression of an emotionless face never flinching.

Maybe he did care. Maybe he didn't. Komaeda could never tell.

"But of course! Dying by your lovely hand would be too honorable. And filth like me doesn't even deserve to be near your perfectly, blood-free clean hands!"

"Please stop." He whispers, his head dropping downward. Komaeda frowns as well.

Look what he's done now. Him, the filth, has hurt a precious person like him. Even more the reason Komaeda should die by another person's hands...or even kill himself. And he would, if these damn chains didn't restrain himself. Either worked.

"Komaeda? Aren't you hungry?"

His voice reached the depths of his thoughts of his death, bringing him to look at him. Hell, his ugly gray eyes weren't _fit_ to even look at him. But, looking at him, and seeing him smile seemed to make him happy. So he would continue to smile and look at him, so he could see that smile he was so unworthy for directed at him.

"Yes. And I see you remembered my favorite soup. Such an honor you remember stuff like that...especially since it's about a person like me." He shook his head, ignoring that last part and began to feed him spoonful after spoonful, wiping away any little drip that got on his chin.

Komaeda felt so disgusting. He hated himself...he hated himself for admiring his features as he fed him the food on the plate. Komaeda hated himself for constantly asking him to kill him, even though he didn't deserve such a great death. He hated himself every time he bumped or brushed against him a little.

But he hated himself most of all...for falling in love with such a perfect, beautiful, golden guy like him.

Oh, how he was spoiled...

**xxx**

YOOOOOOOOOOO.

Eheheheh...okay, I understand this probably sucks serious ass. This is actually my second story on here , and, uh, I'm still figuring some stuff out. Especially my first story. I know it had a lot of errors in it, but, for some reason, when I posted the story, these changes happened by itself. Anyone else experience that? Like, literally, the first 'a' in the word explanation was changed to an 'i'.

;~: Send halp. Why does this do this.

**EDIT**: Wow. People actually LIKE this story?

*Blushes*

I DON'T DESERVE THE LOVE.

Komaeda: That's my line, sweet heart.

Me: Hey, go back to the story!

...Okay, that just happened. Oi, I don't have a life some days.


End file.
